Simba buys every front-row seat at a meeting about humility.

A modest man needs a modest number of seats: all of them.

Caricature of Bavon Carson Simba presenting himself a mirror trophy, wearing three medals of his own face — A modest award, from himself, to himself.

Invited to a seminar titled Humility in Public Life, the Honourable purchased the entire front row, the second row for his reflection, and the third row for his entourage’s entourage.

He then leaned on the event chair until she agreed to address him only as “Chairman.” Satisfied, he turned to the actual chair she was sitting on and demanded it apologise for placing itself beneath him in a manner he found suggestive.

When his ten-minute closing remarks on modesty received only four minutes of applause, he formed a commission to investigate insufficient clapping.

The commission’s first recommendation: a standing ovation before he enters, to save time.