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FICTIONAL PARODY • A CONYA CHARACTER • NOT A GOVERNMENT WEBSITE
Hon. Bavon Carson Simba, E.G.O.Fictional satirical character

The office of His Excessiveness

Hon. Bavon Carson Simba, E.G.O.

Cabinet Secretary for Personal Development · Fictional satirical character

Your future.
His pocket.

A man of the people. Preferably the people with envelopes.

Explore his achievements →Test your influence
“I entered politics to make a difference. The difference is now in my account.”
— Bavon Carson Simba, fictional quote, invented for satire
Illustrated caricature of fictional CONYA politician Bavon Carson Simba holding a gold envelope

Artistic parody · Fictional satirical character

promises personally benefited
100%
promises personally benefited
questions welcomed
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questions welcomed
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Invented for satire · not real statistics

Fictional bulletins

  • Simba declares conflict of interest a networking opportunity
  • Office confirms public funds are still public until received
  • New transparency policy: envelopes must be see-through
  • Honourable awards himself award for awarding awards
  • Committee to investigate committees finds itself 'broadly excellent'
  • Convoy expands to include a convoy for the convoy

The Honourable · Manifesto

Three promises, all of them kept, to himself.

  1. I.No envelope left behind.
  2. II.A louder voice. Mostly his.
  3. III.Public service. Private entrance.

Fictional biography

Bavon Carson Simba was born, according to his official portrait, already seated. He discovered public service at the age of nine, when he appointed himself class monitor and began charging a modest fee for the toilet pass.

Since then he has risen tirelessly, mostly on other people's shoulders. He holds the self-bestowed title E.G.O., the honours he awards himself each year on his birthday, and the portfolio of Cabinet Secretary for Personal Development, the only ministry in the fictional Republic of CONYA whose results are visible from space, chiefly as a house.

He is known for a booming voice, a fragile temper and an unbroken record of never having said "sorry" without a footnote. He shouts at microphones, disciplines potholes and treats the word "no" as a security threat.

He insists he is a humble man. He has the certificates to prove it, all signed by him.

The Record

A distinguished record of personal achievement.

6 fictional achievements

Influence Simulator

Every door opens. Some require stationery.

Desk of imaginary applications

Respectable100 Conya Credits

Congratulations. You are now a stakeholder.

SATIRICAL SIMULATION • No money, payments or personal information are collected.

Your receipt will appear here, once the stamp has been located.

Press Office

The Office of Strategic Non-Apologies.

Accountability, now available in carefully selected words.

The Honourable is not sorry yet. Press generate.

05 · Words to live off

“Power corrupts. I prefer to arrive prepared.”
— Hon. Bavon Carson Simba · Fictional quote

Mock asset declaration • Fictional

One humble pen. Nine honorary titles.

Pen on loan from the public.